Why I do this
I’ve built this site to be a Pillar of Light and Hope to those struggling with mental and chronic illness. With those who have suffered in the system we currently live in.
Hope has pulled me out of the darkest places, but manufacturing it oneself when dealing with depression is almost impossible at times.
But a small spark of light is within me, and I love writing, I love talking about mental health, I love connecting with others who are dealing with the same struggle, of living in a world that is hard, with people who don’t understand, in a system that oppresses our being.
So I want to use this spark, not only for you, but for me as well, because it is the only thing that keeps me going some days.
If I can nurture this light, and put it into a Beacon; a Lamp, then that light will shine bright, out into the world, and in the distance the call can be seen from afar, to gather us, and unite us, even through one-on-one connections, slowly, so that we become a Tapestry of Light.
I want to bring about the smallest hope I have in myself, the tears that come out of the crack in the statue that is my trauma, the single tear from the corner of my eye, and use that as an elixir to break the dam, so that it floods out, and pours out into the world, and gathers hope for our Souls.
In this darkness, there is Hope, there is Light, there is Connection. There is kindness, even in a world full of cruelty. I think those of us who have been broken, are often the ones who have capacity for the most depth and understanding.
My goal here is to simply let the light pour out of me, so that something might happen - a spark that grows. Pillar of Light is my vessel, and light has no bounds. I wish to Illuminate with what is within me. I want to bring you something that you can hold onto, read, and keep yourself going, uplift you, and comfort you. A Pillow of Light on which to lie on.
My aim is to let the pain transmute into a healing balm, that needs no effort to work, but simply heals by existing. From the statue, a fountain of elixir may be born. I have struggled to cry since my trauma, but now I wish for the tears to trickle out as a slow and soothing stream, and I feel while writing this a healing, something that turns the sorrow into Light.
“And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.”
- Khalil Gibran, from his Book: "The Prophet"